they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
