I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
