Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
