Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
