that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
