After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
