i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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