he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
