i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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