Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
