He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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