now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
