What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
