After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
