walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
