I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
