super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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