I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
