i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
