I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
