She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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