is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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