not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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