He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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