And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
