i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
