I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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