Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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