she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think my moral compass just broke
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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