Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
