uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
