How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
