batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
