yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
