need another drink. this is the easiest way
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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