Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
