i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I'm really busy with my period
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
