I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize
