If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
