I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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