There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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