It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
