Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
