your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
