i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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