Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
