I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
