my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
