i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
