I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
