do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
