i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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