i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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