I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
