Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
