my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
