Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
